HEY BATTER, HEY BATTER BATTER

I miss baseball.  I live in Ecuador and they don’t play or even understand baseball.  How un-American can one be?

Actually I miss my baseball pals.  We could solve every major crisis within nine innings.  In fact, if we adopted a baseball format, world tensions would abate.  Instead of at bat (AB) we would use the category abates(AB).  Everytime we solved a problem we’d give the government or representative a hit for an AB.

The most significant thing about baseball talk is there is NOTHING politically correct.  The guys swear, use foul language, talk about sex with women.  They call each other derogatory words and everybody seems happy.

I did say guys.  There is a fear that the PC agenda might demand that each team be fifty per cent female.  Plus equal representation from LGBT.  But we figured that the females would already establish those quotas.  We also figured that to counteract this possibility we would demand an 82/18 white to African American NBA.   I think the NHL is safe because they could not find that many African Americans who can skate.

The beauty of baseball is if you perform you can move up or stay around.  You can’t contribute you are dismissed.  But since they can’t get rid of the entire team they fire the manager.

So in that tradition I suggest we elect four presidents.  At the end of the season if he has not accomplished the stated goal (e.g.,bring the Congress together, end the war, brings jobs back, protect our borders) the next manager takes the place with the single objective.

Several advantages exist right off the bat (pun intended) .  Bill Clinton’s exploits would be accepted so long as he got the job done.  Hillary is out because she is too vile by baseball standards.

Congress people would either perform or get sent down.  The place would be like a huge musical chairs.  For instance, Bernie Sanders, hey Bernie Bernie, you want to give the kid who can’t walk a chance at the plate.  Gotta go a different route Bernie, take a seat, This is baseball.  We have rules.  Next.

That sounds harsh but sorry that’s the way it is.  A baseball player has no life.  When I played baseball it was fun until I went professional.  Then it was hit or get off the pot (intended).

Oh yes baseball does take care of the kids who need help.  However the owners and MLB don’t quite get the sharing thing.

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