I chose this as my foundation blog.  This way some people will not have to follow my blog because they might not accept my belief.

I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic grammar school.  Up until 6^th grade I attended mass every day. I trusted the nuns and believed all the stories.  Deep inside I knew none of this to be true.

When Sister Frances Lucille told us that you could recognize a Jew because they had a horn in the middle of their head, I believed her.  In fact,  a group of us ten year olds went downtown(Chicago) during the St. Patrick’s day parade, shimmied a lamp post and searched for Jews.

We compared sightings after the parade and realized that the commonly worn Fedora sheltered us from our search.  I did not get upset until I was old enough to realize how naïve I could be.

My  Catholic grammasr school tried to block my going to a public high school.  I now know why.  I received alternative information.   I could talk to people about things the Catholics forbade.

I do not believe in a personal God.  No one is watching out for me and if there is, He is doing a very poor job.  I feared telling people my beliefs because it cost me employment and status.  So I feigned religious beliefs.

In my years of work as a paramedic and neuropsychologist I watched people use their religion to garner votes, money and power.  I saw people talk one way and behave another.  Yet I truly admired people who had faith.

I wish I had faith.  But I saw faith as a delusion – a false belief.  If you can hold that belief on your death bed, more power to you.  You will pass calmly with the belief of something more.

I am owed nothing.  I am not going to arrogantly state that I climbed down from the evolutionary tree because I had a God.  In fact, there are too many Gods right now.

When I die, I will cease to exist; nothing more and nothing less.  I know so many people who have substituted God with energy fields, spiritualism, bright lights and other hidden forces.

These alternative beliefs are no different than believing in God.  I enjoy the supreme being people who deny a religious God but acknowledge another being.  A few simple questions and I quickly figure out they don’t have a belief but they are hedging their bets or hiding like I did – from what they believe.

I still am embarrassed by my beliefs, but they make sense to me.  Here’s what gets me;  I will be chastised, pitied, thought differently of by the very people who profess a God.  I will still be me and will end up in the same place as everyone else.

I do not make comments about anyone’s beliefs.  I am fascinated by other beliefs.  I want to know how they attained their beliefs, how they practice their faith and what they believe will happen when they die.

The most common response I get to the question, “Do you believe in God?”  is  “I believe in a supreme being”  I  generally do not get a direct answer and if I do and press the question, I learn much about  the failings of religion.

This is the only question I did not need to research in the A-Z  Blog Challenge, and from the people I questioned about God the responses indicated more confusion than I could categorize.  It seemed my belief had a stronger foundation.

ABBA is not a musical group to me as much as a philosophy. In deciding what I wanted to write about for 26 days in the A-Z blogging challenge I turned to ABBA for guidance.  I realized I can’t know you because I don’t know me.

I live in a city and country, Cuenca, Ecuador which I believe is the return landing site for alien abductions.  What’s interesting is most of the returnees speak English and call themselves expats (Extraordinary People At Their Stupidest).

It’s true I do check my body for homing devices once a day.  But I noticed that I do not do so in the morning, the usual time for suspected alien involvement, but rather in the night after my encounters with the Expats.  Somebody has to be checking my sanity as I attempt to absorb the various spiritual beliefs, the political interpretations,  economic absurdities and social misconceptions while holding on to a science education. Heck, I’m still reeling from the virgin birth and here I have energy fields, bright lights, shaman rituals, satanic practices, near death experiences and angry judgmental people telling me not to be judgmental.  Luckily, any of these methods to salvation can be attained for a nominal fee.

I truly enjoy the intelligent people who believe there are two political parties.  They slam each other as they are actively manipulated to do so.  They call each other names, make money selling their ideas on TV or in books, they have a cottage industry of opposition.  There is only one party –  the Money Party or the Ruling Party.  Either way you are allowed to believe what you want to believe as long as you pay your tithes or taxes.

A disclaimer here.  After 31 years of interviewing murderers, rapists and various criminals as a forensic neuropsychologist, I certainly see things from a perspective not many have.  I begin by clarifying that humans will be heavily influenced by their early upbringing.  I had fantastic, loving, old-school parents.  I came from an intact family yet I feel I must defend this because I was not abused, did not need rehab, went to church and held beliefs.  It’s these early beliefs I find as ground zero for my personality.

My parents were registered Democrats in Chicago.  My dad use to say you were registered at birth and one of the advantages was that on election day your ballot was already filled out.  If you chose to fill it out yourself they called you a conservative Democrat.

Now, at age 64, if you asked my opinion on a subject I would give you my thoughts and I would not necessarily know why I held that opinion.  I now realize how much the news media has influenced my thinking.  I read a lot with a critical eye.  I see the rhetoric, the clever manner in which the truth is withheld or slanted.  The cleverness of this rhetoric is that the truth appears absurd to a mind given a steady diet of GMO’s (Grand Mixed-up Opinions).

So, I decided to wipe the slate clean and find out why I believe what I believe.  I will use logic, even resorting to Plato’s dialectics.  I may even change my thinking but rest assured I will know why I stand where I stand.  I make no excuses for my thinking and the resultant views.  Some of my beliefs may actually be held in abeyance because I can’t find a steady footing.

I invite you to comment on the blog.  Your thoughts or views will be considered.  I will use the aforementioned dialectics in weighing your comments.  Remember you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

As ABBA said, “one of us is lying, one of us is dying.”  Don’t be both.

I really don’t get it.

I read pages on DEFLATEGATE the investigation into the NFL footballs having been deflated below the levels ascribed by the rules.  These balls were used during a championship game.  The press was asking questions like wolves near injured prey as they grilled the coach and the next day the quarterback.  Then came the questions and discussions online if this would hurt the legacy of the New England Patriots.  They brought up past penalties imposed by the NFL as suggestive of lying on behalf of the New England Patriots.  The point being, there was significant interest in a seemingly insignificant element.

I like football and enjoy watching all types of sports.  I have no financial investment in any team.  The owners are wealthy and wield much sway in their community.  I have no say in what the owners or NFL body says or does.

But I pay taxes and have a financial investment in what elected officials do.  Where was the minute scrutiny in questions during the impeachment of Bill Clinton?  Did we forget that the necessary votes to remove the impeached president from office fell on party lines?  The man was convicted as a liar with strong testimony indicating an abuse of power.  Yet this man speaks and people listen as if he can only be telling the truth.  He is an impeached liar, end of story.  Nothing he says holds merit without scrutiny.  There are people who do know that he was impeached.

The chairman of the New York state assembly, Sheldon Silver, has been arrested on corruption charges related to a 4 million dollar bribe and kickback scheme.  There is a web site that lists the arrests and convictions of state officials.  It only lists the convictions not those that were investigated but prevailed as not guilty of the charges.  This particular website does not include the city officials such as the education and housing development members or similar boards frequently used in local government.  I mention that because two years ago in October, I heard a radio broadcast stating that the arrest of an education board member was the 75^th arrest so far that year of a public official in the State of New Jersey.  It seems possible that these crimes might be divided into elected officials and appointed officials or city, county and state.   Either way, from top to bottom, however you define scandal or corruption, there is a hefty amount of both in government.

A Congressional member receives an annual salary of $174,000.  This does not include benefits and retirement packages.  There are allowances for travel that may not be seen as a benefit.  Congressional members also receive a premium health insurance plan outside of what the Congress mandates for other federal employees.

I often see these campaign funds listed in the millions of dollars for a job that only pays a $174,000 and think that does not make sense.  Until I saw the $4 million dollar bribe charge on the NY Assembly chair.  As I read further into the charges, that charge was only the tip of what the FBI believes to be a more pervasive scandal.

How is it that 2 pounds of air missing in a football receives such scrutiny when the Affordable Care Act has so many obvious flaws that suggests that our elected officials either did not read or simply received something for their support of the bill.

Let me say that no health care bill, on either side of the aisle, will work so long as health care is a “for profit” entity.  Then let me further state that the U.S. government, possibly any government, has not been able to manage any program without massive fraud and incompetence.  With the Affordable Care Act there are NO constraints on medical costs.  Heck, they couldn’t even get the website up and running and you think your health care will be better.  Get Real!!!!

The world is facing real problems; problems so large that reducing the world’s population is one solution that is bandied about in the political arena.  This may be the only program a government can do well.

Stop the corruption first.

This article is the first of many searching for viable solutions to problems that appear outside the medias focus.

I have reached the age where my hormones no longer have the majority vote. I can smell trouble, arguments and hostility. Occasionally I am the problem because it seems that making any comment can lead to an opposing view.

I was watching a lioness chase down a smaller antelope.\on the TV. This took place in a store with many TVs showing the same event. I made a comment to myself, “Report that as unfair.”  I swear that was all I said.

A woman behind me said, “I suppose you think that was acceptable.”

I looked about for a hidden camera and saw the seething eyes of a woman who looked as angry as her tone. I said,”Excuse me” already I said too much.

She was a rather attractive woman with a loud sharp tone and for a second I thought she was going to charge me. Mind you, I am a big guy.

“You guys think that hurting a defenseless animal is the way to live,” she said.

I looked at her, then the TV, and like in the movie TERMINATOR all these bad words came across my speech screen, but being a controlled individual I smiled and said, “Ín case you didn´t know, that was the female lion who was taking down food for her family.”

At that point I felt like the rediscovered unicorn (a male with feelings)

To my surprise her face softened, she grinned with confusion and said, “No shit! All these times I saw that as more male aggression.”

“Are you angry with men?” I was back in my comfort zone having discovered that her bark was worse than her bite.

“Men are jerks, you gotta a problem with that?” she asked angling to put me back on the defensive. Briefly, very briefly, she flashed a grin.

“Are you a feminist?” I asked.

“You wish, they are worse than the men”, she said.

“See we have some views in common.”  I extended my hand and introduced myself.  She appeared shocked; smiled a lovely smile and gave me her name.

“Don´t think I am letting your perceived male superiority get the better of me,” she said.

“Wouldn´t think of it,”  I said still looking for a hidden camera. No, she was real.

“So how long have you oppressed women?” she asked. I believed she was asking for my age.

“I just now am considering it,”  I said with a straight face. She repressed a chuckle.

“You´re probably Catholic and have been taught to dominate women,”  she said as if this were an interview.

“Oh! you haven´t heard,  just yesterday the Pope has made it official,, that priests can now go out with nuns,” I said.

She paused and cocked her head and said, “You are just full of information. First the lion now the priest. So is it true?” she asked.

“Yeah, so long as the priest doesn´t get in the habit.”´

She had a deep raspy laugh like a woman who smokes.

Her name was Olivia Compton. I called her OC. She died 3 yeas later unexpectedly and never came to know the OC stood for overcompensating. She was a perfect match for my personality. And all her bravado could not hold back her feminine instincts to be a loving and caring wife.

My friend made a comment to me that will not turn off. So I will write my way out. I am the only boy in my family. All my cousins are girls, besides my sisters. To add to this I am the youngest. I was 4 when I figured out my name wasn´t asshole. (girls can be mean) Really, my mother called my name and when I saw the room empty, I made the connection.

Myfemale friend was telling me how much she hated men. She and I share many traits. We are both funny and we use humor to protect how sensitive we are. I cry at puppet shows and wrestling matches. When her sensitivities are challebged she attacks. When my sensitivities are challenged, I retreat. That is why we could never be a couple because our relationship would spiral with her attacking and me retreating. It took me 31 years in the practice of psychology to learn this. (I learned other things as well).

In her attack on males, I thought, does she not see that I am a male. I retreated to a rational explanation that she viewed me as trusting.  still should she did not see me as part of the group she was chastising? So I did what I do best, I listened.
While she painted with a wide brush, I was mentally agreeing with her with self comments like “those bastards”and “I know guys like that.”.

I flashed to an earlier comment she made. She asked if I knew that only male dogs fight with each other. Apparently female dogs do not. I did not know this to be true.. I know it is prudent when sharing with women, remember my background, that it is the PROCESS not necessarily the result that women engage in.

That night my mind was filled with memories. I went thru the woman´s right era. Whoever was riding that wagon was hijacked by a movement that makes PROCESS eternal,because the result is more confusing, at least to this male.

Let me share some memories. While in my post doc, I rotated through a class in brain slicing. As students in the University hospital research department sliced the brains of the people who donated their bodies to science.  It proved a great learning experience.

The medical examiner supervised the

class. He was well known. A student asked why these brains looked so different than those brains. He replied those are male brains, those are female brains. Political correctness was just entering the stage of human subjugation. He said he would deny saying this but men and women are different. He was alluding to the recent publication of a book called BRAIN SEX and the cancelled NOVA series. He went further and stated he could tell the difference between whites, blacks and Asians (forgive my polically incorrect terminology but this is my blog). I learned much about human variability in those years and I took that information into therapeutic account, but never let anyone know what I believed. I did use the information to effect change in rehabilitation settings.

Now, I live in a culture that oppresses women. A recent government statistic (which I don´t believe because the government is incompetent) cites that women are abused between in 75% and 80% of their relationships. The government advertises a need to reduce violence against women, but it is only a start and male domination is so prevalent.

I see the girls in high school, they are happy and filled with joy and hope. I see the cross sample of girls 10 years older. They look sad and miserable. They are pregnant, carrying one child and dragging a third. They struggle for food, have no jobs, no future and the likelihood of an abusive mate. The culture in general is timid. When I get on a bus it is obvious I am a foreigner. Because of my height they look at me warily but they will push me out of the way to get on or off the bus.

The women here are impressed with how Americans treat women. But this is my point. I don´t know if the women accept this behavior for the same reasons women in the states do. I see an alternative possibility that I fear to print.

I am writing a book that deals heavily on evolution. This country is 95% catholic. They only have 9 commandments. Somehow they lost number 7. So one might suspect a metacognition as well. What if the role is the division, what Americans view as inequality in gender, of roles. The male protects and provides and the woman rears the young. (can´t say that without an uproar)

The males here have NO chance for jobs or financial opportunity. This is not addressed. Hence the rampant drinking, spousal abuse and cultural malaise. What if the hijacking of the women´s rights vehicle has led to an added division in the American way of thinking?

I see that males and females are different. They must get together to further the species. But culture gets in the way and roles get blurred. Each sex wants more than the proliferation of the species. On that list is equality.

I am retired and have survived two spouses. I see retired American couples. They are unhappy. They live together and would not do well apart but they are unhappy. They have raised their families and now search for meaning. Their purpose has been removed and they cannot find themselves in this dyad. I have so many questions but each question sets in motion gender related defenses. I simply want to understand the inner thoughts, regrets, feelings of the married couple.

If this works, I will have answers.