I chose this as my foundation blog. This way some people will not have to follow my blog because they might not accept my belief.
I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic grammar school. Up until 6th grade I attended mass every day. I trusted the nuns and believed all the stories. Deep inside I knew none of this to be true.
When Sister Frances Lucille told us that you could recognize a Jew because they had a horn in the middle of their head, I believed her. In fact, a group of us ten year olds went downtown(Chicago) during the St. Patrick’s day parade, shimmied a lamp post and searched for Jews.
We compared sightings after the parade and realized that the commonly worn Fedora sheltered us from our search. I did not get upset until I was old enough to realize how naïve I could be.
My Catholic grammasr school tried to block my going to a public high school. I now know why. I received alternative information. I could talk to people about things the Catholics forbade.
I do not believe in a personal God. No one is watching out for me and if there is, He is doing a very poor job. I feared telling people my beliefs because it cost me employment and status. So I feigned religious beliefs.
In my years of work as a paramedic and neuropsychologist I watched people use their religion to garner votes, money and power. I saw people talk one way and behave another. Yet I truly admired people who had faith.
I wish I had faith. But I saw faith as a delusion – a false belief. If you can hold that belief on your death bed, more power to you. You will pass calmly with the belief of something more.
I am owed nothing. I am not going to arrogantly state that I climbed down from the evolutionary tree because I had a God. In fact, there are too many Gods right now.
When I die, I will cease to exist; nothing more and nothing less. I know so many people who have substituted God with energy fields, spiritualism, bright lights and other hidden forces.
These alternative beliefs are no different than believing in God. I enjoy the supreme being people who deny a religious God but acknowledge another being. A few simple questions and I quickly figure out they don’t have a belief but they are hedging their bets or hiding like I did – from what they believe.
I still am embarrassed by my beliefs, but they make sense to me. Here’s what gets me; I will be chastised, pitied, thought differently of by the very people who profess a God. I will still be me and will end up in the same place as everyone else.
I do not make comments about anyone’s beliefs. I am fascinated by other beliefs. I want to know how they attained their beliefs, how they practice their faith and what they believe will happen when they die.
The most common response I get to the question, “Do you believe in God?” is “I believe in a supreme being” I generally do not get a direct answer and if I do and press the question, I learn much about the failings of religion.
This is the only question I did not need to research in the A-Z Blog Challenge, and from the people I questioned about God the responses indicated more confusion than I could categorize. It seemed my belief had a stronger foundation.