It took over 5,000 years before Mel Brooks, while playing Moses, made a joke and dropped five of the original fifteen commandments. What I am trying to say is that there is no, none, nada, zip, zed humor in the Bible.
I thrive on humor, clever changes in wording and people making comments that have several meanings. To me, humor represents understanding; the “I get it” moment. Like a heartbeat, the more “I get its” you have the healthier your life is.
I would truly have stuck with the Bible if Jesus had turned to Judas and said before going into the Garden of Gethsemane, “Hey Jude, I need one piece of silver to get in the garden, got anything on you?”
His response could go all sorts of directions with, “I’ll go see if I can get some.”
“Come on you owe me fifteen from the donkey you rode in on.”
“Maybe your favorite James has some.”
“I doubt if Tom has any but maybe Paul has some stolen tax money.”
Besides really bad writing (maybe Aramaic doesn’t translate well) there is no humor anywhere. Jesus and all the Old Testament characters were very serious. I would love to rewrite the Bible to have people read it and fall out of the chair laughing screaming, “Matthew is hysterical. Can you believe how he torments Jesus?”
A fellow writer and friend heard one of my many politically incorrect jokes. He said he thought I should run with the idea that since Washington is such a joke, that having Trump as president might bring back American humor.
I used to believe that one of the things that is great about Americans is that we laugh at ourselves. I have to watch BBC in order to laugh today. The Brits are truly hysterical.
Being a Pole from Chicago, everyone sought me out with the latest Polish joke. Not because they believed it but because they knew I would laugh. I went to really good schools and we laughed at racial, ethnic, religious jokes with the same mind set as watching wrestling reading comic books or watching cartoons.
The Polish jokes came after the elephant jokes but before the Newfie jokes. When they started aiming their humor at the NewFoundlanders this signaled a change. The difference in time from a tragedy to a joke used to be measured in days. Now you can’t even make a pun.
If you think that Obama has done America well then I think that is humorous. And if you believe that your vote matters, I can still laugh at your delusion.
There is something very strange about this election. We will soon see.
One thing about humor is it contrasts deeply with horror. I was watching the movie that Hillary Clinton had banned from release in the U.S. I have to admit. I watched in horror and had a look on my face like I was watching a holocaust film.
So I am hoping to have a candidate elected that will bring back ‘political incorrectness’ and then I can laugh with friends in the open. Since we seem to have made a commitment to not address the real issues, let’s elect somebody who can at least allow us to die laughing.

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