We have two normal looking and acting people who have implanted themselves in Cuenca society.  At a recent gathering these two individuals became a might bit testy about some issues.  I asked them if they would care to write a Point/Counterpoint article. After much debate, mainly because of their animosity toward each other, they agreed.

They are given a topic or question and they must stay on point giving their opinion and belief.  They flip a coin and one writes first the other will go first in subsequent writings  There is a rebuttal and we end until the next topic but by then the gloves are off.

The staff meetings are fun.  We talk about forbidden topics,use forbidden language and challenge the statements of the media.  When we talk about male and female relationships I am fascinated by what we do.

We all have little things we do that give away our thoughts.  They are called ‘tells.’  I know a very insecure woman who pretends to be in charge but when she asks you a question she looks away afraid your response will be different than hers.  Another friend just drinks and then becomes nasty and her tells take on a verbal honesty.

I know many people in Cuenca.  I observe them with scientific curiosity.  I see the glare one spouse gives another, I hear the tone of disapproval.  I particularly like the admission of retirement but the desire to open a business.

Like hamsters on the exercise wheel North Americans  just can’t get off that wheel of ‘doing something’ especially if it has profit.  The question the staff discussed dealt with how spouses show their feelings.  After all  they worked all those years to retire and spend time with their partner.

The single women on our staff admitted to what we labelled ‘male abhorrence’  They simply despise all men.  They have many female friends that share the same dislike toward males.  But the rule of writing in this group is to find a different angle to an age old story or belief.

Looking out the window I noticed X and Y a married couple of expats.  One of our members pointed out that this couple did not like each other.  “They have been married for 40 years.  How can you say that?”

“Look how far he walks in front of her.  That is a sign of unattachment.”

“Maybe she has a bad foot?”

“All the more reason to slow down and support her.”

Then we saw a very athletic single female who we all agreed hates men.  She walked with a couple of women but she walked briskly in front of them.  You could see the stragglers were annoyed by their gestures with the woman running from her dislikes.

Walking ahead of your spouse does not mean you are a bad person, but it does indicate you are a thoughtless one.  The discussion morphed into couple dynamics and how some couples maintain a sense of interaction that shows each other they care.

Everyone left holding hands.

 

 

 

by Kimberly Kross

I am amazed at how dumb Americans are.

I do not say this lightly.  I will go a step further and add that with travel they spread their stupidity.  You would think that living in another country would expand your understanding.  Bur when the basic premise is wrong everything that follows is also wrong.  Logically illogical if you will.

William Sommerset Maughn said, “It wasn’t until late in life I learned to say “I don’t know.”  I sat next to a woman yesterday who never read Maughn.

I partook in small talk with the various group members.  I joked, cajoled and laughed about our various outlooks on things.  The woman next to me lived in Saudi Arabia for a  number of years and held many beliefs related to the Saudis and the Americans.

She said, “This Republican jerk said….”  The woman across from her answered with “I can’t imagine what it would be like being a Republican. What do you think Kimberly?”

Being a Republican I am use to the vitriol spewed by the narrow minded.  I use the words of my friend, “If the liberals had the same attitude toward the terrorists as they do toward the conservatives we’d be in good shape.”

Then it got ugly.  They began talking about children and I made the comment about increasing the birthrate in their families to offset the Muslim birthrate.  Since I did not believe anyone listened to me I was surprised to hear, “Look at the Mormon birthrate.”

You know how quickly your mind can put scenarios together.  Well I found a neuronal loop.  It seemed that she said, “If I close that window, will your dog die?”

The illogic of that statement cannot be disputed.  The part that perplexed me was how close to the verbal generator that thought process lay.  Does every verbalization have anti bigotry bigotry  attached to it.  Is it any wonder that people don’t get along?

So I decided to use logic as the basis of my writing.  This thought process is a non-sequitur.  This means the beginning statement does not connect to the end statement.

That  used to be sufficient to put the discussion in perspective.  But three things occurred that showed how far from logic the American mind is.

That non-sequitur that she said had a meaning to her.  She might have thought that my statement demeaned her knowledge of Saudis.  Maybe she just hated Mormons.  I could have said “You misunderstood me, Mormons don’t have terrorists killings.”  but I thought I would like to finish my meal.

The second thing came from the agreement at the table about the thoughts of the Republicans.  If I had black skin they would not have made ethnic slurs in fact I believe they would have pandered with white guilt, probably blaming Republicans for slavery and recent racial issues.

The third issue came later when I had this piece reviewed and a friend said, “I like it but you speak negatively against the liberals.”  I asked her where and she said the whole article.

“Do you think you should change it?” she asked.

Quoting W.S. Maughn I said, “I don’t know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Leslie Logg

During the day I visit with severely impaired individuals.  At night I see patients with social problems.  This private night time practice supplemented my income and gave me a perspective on thinking in the American culture.  I always had my patients write me a Dear Ann/ Dear Abby synopsis for my files.

This writing only works if I am blatantly honest.  I will share what I was thinking but what I said came out completely different.

SYNOPSIS 1 My husband is a stupid man.  He makes bonehead moves and has cost us our savings and possibly our future retirement plans.  What should I do?

When I read the synopsis I looked at Mrs. S and smiled thinking that was his plan — to get rid of you when he retired.  It wasn’t only that Mrs S put a new meaning to ‘letting yourself go’ but her personality, the whining the complaining the criticism.

“Tell me Mrs. S. are you considering a divorce?”

“Oh, heavens no.  There’s no money for me in a divorce.”

I was thinking, Good because I really don’t know what sex the Blob was and it might be involved anyways.

Don’t, don’t ask  you already know the answer.  But people will surprise you, so ask. “When was the last time you had sex?”  I asked.

“Our sex life is great,” she said.

I thought of the saying ‘roll her in flour and aim for the wet spots.’   Then I thought maybe this guy is Jaba the Hutt and has issues of his own.  No surprise being married to the creature who ate Portugal?

“Do you have any current photos of your husband?”  I just had to know.

“Oh yes we took photos last week.”  She pulled out an envelope of photos and sifted through them and said,”  Not the best, but here.”

I’d like to see the best photo is this is the worst.  The guy is a stud.  James Bond rugged looks, strong upper body and full head of wavy black hair.  Unless she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, he’s got issues.

She prattled on about how stupid he was, how he did this wrong and that wrong and embarrassed her in front of friends.  I’ve heard it all before , just not as much and not with dates and details.  How do you tell someone to be happy with what they have especially when you seem to be the bad penny in the relationship.

“He even admits that he is stupid.  He brags about his bonehead moves,” she added.

“You are a lucky woman Mrs. S,”  I said . Wait for it, wait for it.

“What makes you say I am lucky?”

“Most women who have these complaints have husbands that don’t admit it.  But you have that rare gem of a man who embraces his faults.  Even brags about them.  No wonder your sex life is fulfilled.”  I don’t expect her to believe that I just need to get her off that track of thinking.

She looked at me strangely.  I first thought it was indigestion.  She validated that with an odor that my deodorizer could not cover.  I wonder if this got into her thinking.  Did I stop the  repetition of thoughts.  If she gives me a question,then I got a screw driver under the lid, more like a bottle cap.

“Are you suggesting that his behavior is normal?

“Not at all.  Most men would never be that honest.  It appears that the problem is in your need to accept what you have.”

“Never thought of it that way,” she muttered to herself.

When she told me who she voted for, it all made sense.  As she left, waddling through the door, I thought, I hope she doesn’t hit the door jamb.  I wondered if she noticed what she was dragging behind her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This group of writers was hand picked.  Not because we write well(or is that good) but because we are highly disturbed.  All of us are professionals and  sorry to say we live in an area where our thinking is not appreciated (they made me change the previous sentence, it was a scathing put down )

Our editor -in-chief practiced neuropsychology for 31 years.  But he taught research design at a major university and combines his understanding of journalism with research and commo9n sense and explains the news we read.  I have to admit that these sessions are thought provoking.

My writing assignment is sort of like an advice column only it is what a therapist is really thinking when the patient is talking.  The practice for this writing lowered my blood pressure (laughter lowers one’s blood pressure))  The practice session seemed more like IMPROV than writing.

We have a few guidelines we follow in this group.  I am a rehabilitation psychologist.  I want to thank my colleagues for allowing my mind to revitalize and grow in their presence.