FINDING ONESELF

I often wonder about the ancestors I have no information about.  They  came from somewhere in Eastern  Europe – Poland most likely.  I know this because my grandmother told me this.  Her parents lived in Poland.  The point is I am taking the word of my grandmother.  We may have been murdering Russian Cossacks and I’m fairly certain my grandmother would not tell me that.

I have a heritage that I honestly know very little about.  I am relegated to the history told to me about the country of my birth and the birth of my parents – the United States of America.  I accepted that history as mine, although my forbearers did not come here on the Mayflower, I like the American story.  It’s the only one I have.

Suddenly, and this is the appropriate term, I find that being a white male with blond hair and blue eyes is now persona non grata.  The history I grew up with now has me a native American murderer, a slave owner, a mysogynist and a greedy money grabber.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not upset by the change in attitude but I am concerned in the change in thinking from rational to irrational.  I now find comfort in my grand parents signing the book in Ellis Island as we weren’t here to kill the natives or own slaves.  Strangely a murdering Cossack has a better status.  Heck, I can’t even claim that.

I am well educated and let me say that I like the comfort of knowledge and understanding.  Not that what I know is right but that I can take a piece of information, place next to another piece of information and come to a conclusion based on reason.  Like taking 2 and placing it next to another 2 with a plus sign in between and coming to a conclusion.

I admit that I know very little about politics but because of my work as a forensic neuropsychologist I learned much about how the system works.  Twenty three years of listening to politicians in therapy, testifying about criminal behavior and testing thousands, I know more than the average bear.

Despite this self proclaimed knowledge I realize I know very little.  Most of my lack of knowledge comes from me not caring.  I was too busy coaching little league, making sure my kids were safe and chasing money to give to the bank to care about prattle of a few.

I played on a softball team with a US Congressman.  The guy, by any standard was a pinhead.  He bragged of his recent lifetime pension that I did not pay attention to.  He told of his medical insurance plan outside of Affordable Care Act.   By changing the district boundary he pushed out a fat cat Republican.  His law firm received lucrative government contracts until his Democrat ways led to a black Republican replacement who got his lifetime benefits and lost to another Democrat.  It became clear that this represented one party.  The “fat cat” party.  The whole time people thought their votes counted.

Rather than shout what I know from the roof tops, I removed myself from any leadership roles.  I hid from the crazy thinking.  I watched people with the sole intention of getting on the gravy train take office.  I witnessed corruption at every level.  And I said and did nothing.

I ran to Ecuador.  I decided to “check out.”  I wanted to know the feeling of having little with no alarm clock.  I had the ability to retire with few worries and I took it.

It seems that pinheads have computers, can travel and own media sites.  While truly avoiding the worries of Americans in a socialist country, I have to listen to Americans brag about the wonders of Ecuador.  There medical care is better than US care when it is only cheaper.  There are no guns, yes a few robberies (I was robbed twice).  If you have a police problem you simply pay off the police and the problems goes away.

Then the Orlando shooting occurred and I suddenly realized what I refused to see all the time – America is under attack.  But I did not get upset.  I did not get on a soap box and say I am right and you are wrong.  I have family that will not listen and they are rational.  Why would I care to convince the irrational?

READ THE NEXT BLOG TO FURTHER UNDERSTAND.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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