I chose this as my foundation blog.  This way some people will not have to follow my blog because they might not accept my belief.

I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic grammar school.  Up until 6^th grade I attended mass every day. I trusted the nuns and believed all the stories.  Deep inside I knew none of this to be true.

When Sister Frances Lucille told us that you could recognize a Jew because they had a horn in the middle of their head, I believed her.  In fact,  a group of us ten year olds went downtown(Chicago) during the St. Patrick’s day parade, shimmied a lamp post and searched for Jews.

We compared sightings after the parade and realized that the commonly worn Fedora sheltered us from our search.  I did not get upset until I was old enough to realize how naïve I could be.

My  Catholic grammasr school tried to block my going to a public high school.  I now know why.  I received alternative information.   I could talk to people about things the Catholics forbade.

I do not believe in a personal God.  No one is watching out for me and if there is, He is doing a very poor job.  I feared telling people my beliefs because it cost me employment and status.  So I feigned religious beliefs.

In my years of work as a paramedic and neuropsychologist I watched people use their religion to garner votes, money and power.  I saw people talk one way and behave another.  Yet I truly admired people who had faith.

I wish I had faith.  But I saw faith as a delusion – a false belief.  If you can hold that belief on your death bed, more power to you.  You will pass calmly with the belief of something more.

I am owed nothing.  I am not going to arrogantly state that I climbed down from the evolutionary tree because I had a God.  In fact, there are too many Gods right now.

When I die, I will cease to exist; nothing more and nothing less.  I know so many people who have substituted God with energy fields, spiritualism, bright lights and other hidden forces.

These alternative beliefs are no different than believing in God.  I enjoy the supreme being people who deny a religious God but acknowledge another being.  A few simple questions and I quickly figure out they don’t have a belief but they are hedging their bets or hiding like I did – from what they believe.

I still am embarrassed by my beliefs, but they make sense to me.  Here’s what gets me;  I will be chastised, pitied, thought differently of by the very people who profess a God.  I will still be me and will end up in the same place as everyone else.

I do not make comments about anyone’s beliefs.  I am fascinated by other beliefs.  I want to know how they attained their beliefs, how they practice their faith and what they believe will happen when they die.

The most common response I get to the question, “Do you believe in God?”  is  “I believe in a supreme being”  I  generally do not get a direct answer and if I do and press the question, I learn much about  the failings of religion.

This is the only question I did not need to research in the A-Z  Blog Challenge, and from the people I questioned about God the responses indicated more confusion than I could categorize.  It seemed my belief had a stronger foundation.